(I hope this doesn't become too boring for you to read..but if you do read the whole thing, kudos. and Thanks!)
My topic today is on an attitude of gratitude and how it affects our marriage.
Gratitude is a key to help strengthen our marriages. As President Monson said, in our marriages, we need to “Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” Celestial marriage is essential to returning home to our Heavenly Father to receive the greatest blessings of Exaltation.
Sister Michelle Van Tassell told a story for an ensign article back in February of 2009. It reads, “For several years I struggled to understand why I had felt so confident that the Lord had confirmed my decision to marry when obviously it had been a mistake. I felt abandoned by the Lord. I prayed for help in understanding and improving the quality of my marriage, but I felt no improvement. I thought about divorce but could not find any comfort as I considered the option. After our first child was born, I felt that I would be forever trapped.
“One morning I was doing laundry when I caught a glance of myself in a mirror. The reflection surprised me. I had not showered or groomed for the day, and as I looked at myself, I thought I was lucky that anyone would want to wake up next to me every day. For the first time, I found myself feeling grateful to my husband for loving me. I examined myself with new eyes and thought about our marriage from his perspective. The revelation that followed had little to do with bad hair and no makeup but much to do with my behavior. I considered all the contention I had introduced into our home. For the first time, I felt real gratitude for my husband—he had continued to love me even though I had been critical and ungrateful.
“That simple moment changed my perspective as well as my relationship with my husband.”
Each day we become closer to our Heavenly Father as we strive to live righteously so that we may return home to him again. In order to strengthen our relationship with God, we must show effort on our part to do the things that will bring us closer to Him. One way that we may do this is through fervent prayer to Him, expressing our gratitude to Him and the things that He has done for us. Our marriage is very similar to this concept. When we go to our spouse to show gratitude and thanks, we are strengthening our relationship and showing them that we appreciate them for what they do.
Gratitude is like service, it’s contagious. When you show gratitude to someone for something that they did for you, they feel appreciated. And when someone feels appreciated, they give back and it becomes a cycle. For anyone, feeling appreciated feels good and it lightens your mood and causes you to be happy. When this cycle of gratitude and giving begins in a family, the Spirit dwells more in the home. When the Spirit is present, it allows good feelings to occur and you grow closer to the Lord. The Lord will then pour out blessings upon you which will strengthen your marriage and cause you to live a happier life.
President J. Reuben Clark once said, “Hold fast to the blessings which God has provided for you. Yours is not the task to gain them, they are here; yours is the part of cherishing them.” Blessings from the Lord may be coming continually, but you need to appreciate them and thank Him in return. The same goes for when your spouse does something for you; you need to show gratitude to them for what they have done for you. When you express to them that you appreciate the helpful hand, it builds a stronger bond within the relationship.
Work can be exhausting for me, and when I get done with work I just want to go home and crash on the bed. Kyle is always the one to blame for his loving and caring attributes. On so many occasions I have come home to a clean home where everything looks so nice and neat. I know he may not think he is doing a lot, but to me he is. Several times I have even come home to surprise gifts that he got for me and it amazes me how much Kyle just keeps giving. Recently, while Kyle was at school, I found some time at home to clean up the house a little bit. When Kyle got home he showed appreciation towards me for what I did and it really made me feel good. It made me want to do more for him each day because I knew it made Kyle happy, which made me happy. It is always those days that we do things for each other that I can feel closer to the Spirit and I feel closer to Kyle.
President Thomas S. Monson once said, “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.” Enjoy life now as we are living it. Be positive in the things that we do and we may be blessed. Show gratitude towards your spouse and you may feel the Spirit of the Lord touch your home and your life, which will then make you and your spouse happy together.
Remember to “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative” and your home will be filled with the Spirit and will cause you and your husband or wife to be happy.
I know these things to be true, for I have experienced these things myself. Life is hard, but we need to keep moving forward and have an “attitude of gratitude”, for it will cause our marriages to be strong and to be joyful.
And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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