How an Attitude of Gratitude Can Help Strengthen our Marriages

Remember the talks that my husband and I gave on Sunday?
Here is his notes for his talk..Enjoy!

• "Attitude" of Gratitude
• It's more than just saying "Thank you"
• Gratitude must be sincere
• We show sincerity through our actions, as well as words, and that sincerity must be present at all times and not just after someone has done something for you.

• Gratitude to the Lord
• Why are we told to "remember" so often in the scriptures?
• Remembering a lot of times represents gratitude

• What are we "remembering?"
• To keep the commandments
• To build our lives on Christ
• To remember what the Lord has done for us

• King Benjamin emphasized the importance of gratitude in conjunction with service
• Mosiah 2:18-21

• Why/What else do we remember?
• It is part of our Baptismal Covenant to always remember the Sacrifice of the Atonement made by Christ
• Christ describes this in 3 Nephi 18:11

• When we forget, that's when problems start
• Laman and Lemuel
• 1 Nephi 7:11
• 1 Nephi 17:45
• "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God"

• Children of Israel
• Another example of a lack in "sincere" gratitude
• Read Headings to Exodus 14-17
• Moses goes into Sinai, they quickly forget and worship a golden calf
• One of the main reasons for the lower law of Moses was so that the people would remember God!
• Deuteronomy 6:7-9

• Good examples of those who remembered to be grateful
• Story of Leper who returned
• Luke 17:12-19
• All 10 were obedient
• Was truly grateful and blessed for it.

• There are many good examples of gratitude in the scriptures
• Christ, Himself, is another good example
• Disciples are baptized and receive the Holy Ghost; he commands them to pray, and then he prays
• 3 Nephi 19:20
• the Disciples continued to pray unceasingly; Jesus prays again
• 3 Nephi 19:28
• Christ was the perfect example of gratitude

• Gratitude to our spouses
• Story of a family from mission
• Lack of gratitude
• She was baptized and he was not (her 2 kids were, too)
• He began to avoid her because of her decision to be baptized
• Resented her for the change she made in her life
• He was not grateful for anything that she did
• They divorced

• Story of last Christmas with the decorations and Brittany
• Gratitude is a form of service
• It feels good to be appreciated
• Strength in a marriage comes from happiness, love, and peace. These blessings come as a result of the presence of the Spirit in the home. When we show sincere gratitude to the Lord and to our spouses, we invite the Spirit into our homes.

• With Thanksgiving coming up, I wanted to share some of the things I am grateful to my wife for:
• Sher left school, friends, and family to be with me
• She works hard to provide for us while I'm in school
• She helps keep our home a clean place where the Spirit can dwell
• She makes me feel good about myself when I am down
• Saturday's test

• She puts up with my imperfections
• She led a clean and worthy life so that we could be married in the temple
• She has a testimony of Christ and of the Gospel

• I am also grateful to my Heavenly Father:
• Eternal Families
• Holy Ghost
• The Gospel (It's saving ordinances and covenants)
• Prophets and Scriptures
• Personal Revelation
• The Sacrifice of His Son

It is my testimony that we will grow closer to the Lord and to our spouses as we exercise an attitude of sincere gratitude.

Sunday Talk

So today my husband and I spoke in sacrament meeting and it went well! I was extremely nervous, I am not one to feel comfortable about talking in front of a large group. Plus, the spotlight on me is never fun for me. Sooo yeah. But the talks went really well and I just wanted to share our talks with you! I will post mine on this one and will post Kyle's notes on another (he doesn't write his talk out, but just goes off the notes...which I envy him for ;)).

(I hope this doesn't become too boring for you to read..but if you do read the whole thing, kudos. and Thanks!)
 

My topic today is on an attitude of gratitude and how it affects our marriage.

 Gratitude is a key to help strengthen our marriages. As President Monson said, in our marriages, we need to “Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” Celestial marriage is essential to returning home to our Heavenly Father to receive the greatest blessings of Exaltation.

Sister Michelle Van Tassell told a story for an ensign article back in February of 2009. It reads, “For several years I struggled to understand why I had felt so confident that the Lord had confirmed my decision to marry when obviously it had been a mistake. I felt abandoned by the Lord. I prayed for help in understanding and improving the quality of my marriage, but I felt no improvement. I thought about divorce but could not find any comfort as I considered the option. After our first child was born, I felt that I would be forever trapped.

“One morning I was doing laundry when I caught a glance of myself in a mirror. The reflection surprised me. I had not showered or groomed for the day, and as I looked at myself, I thought I was lucky that anyone would want to wake up next to me every day. For the first time, I found myself feeling grateful to my husband for loving me. I examined myself with new eyes and thought about our marriage from his perspective. The revelation that followed had little to do with bad hair and no makeup but much to do with my behavior. I considered all the contention I had introduced into our home. For the first time, I felt real gratitude for my husband—he had continued to love me even though I had been critical and ungrateful.

“That simple moment changed my perspective as well as my relationship with my husband.”

Each day we become closer to our Heavenly Father as we strive to live righteously so that we may return home to him again. In order to strengthen our relationship with God, we must show effort on our part to do the things that will bring us closer to Him. One way that we may do this is through fervent prayer to Him, expressing our gratitude to Him and the things that He has done for us. Our marriage is very similar to this concept. When we go to our spouse to show gratitude and thanks, we are strengthening our relationship and showing them that we appreciate them for what they do.

Gratitude is like service, it’s contagious. When you show gratitude to someone for something that they did for you, they feel appreciated. And when someone feels appreciated, they give back and it becomes a cycle. For anyone, feeling appreciated feels good and it lightens your mood and causes you to be happy. When this cycle of gratitude and giving begins in a family, the Spirit dwells more in the home. When the Spirit is present, it allows good feelings to occur and you grow closer to the Lord. The Lord will then pour out blessings upon you which will strengthen your marriage and cause you to live a happier life.

President J. Reuben Clark once said, “Hold fast to the blessings which God has provided for you. Yours is not the task to gain them, they are here; yours is the part of cherishing them.” Blessings from the Lord may be coming continually, but you need to appreciate them and thank Him in return. The same goes for when your spouse does something for you; you need to show gratitude to them for what they have done for you. When you express to them that you appreciate the helpful hand, it builds a stronger bond within the relationship.

Work can be exhausting for me, and when I get done with work I just want to go home and crash on the bed. Kyle is always the one to blame for his loving and caring attributes. On so many occasions I have come home to a clean home where everything looks so nice and neat. I know he may not think he is doing a lot, but to me he is. Several times I have even come home to surprise gifts that he got for me and it amazes me how much Kyle just keeps giving. Recently, while Kyle was at school, I found some time at home to clean up the house a little bit. When Kyle got home he showed appreciation towards me for what I did and it really made me feel good. It made me want to do more for him each day because I knew it made Kyle happy, which made me happy. It is always those days that we do things for each other that I can feel closer to the Spirit and I feel closer to Kyle.

President Thomas S. Monson once said, “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.” Enjoy life now as we are living it. Be positive in the things that we do and we may be blessed. Show gratitude towards your spouse and you may feel the Spirit of the Lord touch your home and your life, which will then make you and your spouse happy together.

Remember to “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative” and your home will be filled with the Spirit and will cause you and your husband or wife to be happy.

I know these things to be true, for I have experienced these things myself. Life is hard, but we need to keep moving forward and have an “attitude of gratitude”, for it will cause our marriages to be strong and to be joyful.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Holy Temple

This is from the Ensign October 2010 issue

By President Boyd K. Packer

In temples we can participate in the most exalted of the redeeming ordinances

"When you enter any dedicated temple, you are in the house of the Lord...In the temples, members of the Church who make themselves eligible can participate in the most exalted of the redeeming ordinances that have been revealed to mankind...in a sacred ceremony, an individual may be washed and anointed and instructed and endowed and sealed...when we have received these blessings ourselves, we may officiate for those who have died without having had the same opportunity. In the temples sacred ordinances are performed for the living and for the dead alike."

The ordinances and ceremonies of the temple are simple, beautiful, and sacred 

"A careful reading of the scriptures reveals that the Lord did not tell all things to all people. There were some qualifications set that were prerequisite to receiving sacred information. Temple ceremonies fall within this category...Someday every living soul and every soul who has ever lived shall have the opportunity to hear the gospel and to accept or reject what the temple offers. If this opportunity is rejected, the rejection must be on the part of the individual...Preparation for the ordinances includes preliminary steps: faith, repentance, baptism, confirmation, worthiness, a maturity and dignity worthy of one who comes invited as a guest into the house of the Lord."
Those who are worthy may enter the temple
"All who are worthy and qualify in every way may enter the temple, there to be introduces to the sacred rites and ordinances...If anything is amiss in your life, the bishop will be able to help you resolve it. Through this procedure, you can declare or can be helped to establish your worthiness to enter the temple with the Lord's approval...The bishop is instructed that confidentiality in handling these matters with each interviewee is of the utmost importance."
Teaching in the temple is symbolic
"the teaching in the temples is done in symbolic fashion...The temple is a great school. It is a house of learning. In the temples the atmosphere is maintained so that it is ideal for instruction on matters taht are deeply spiritual...[Elder John A. Widtsoe]...'The temple ordinances encompass the whole plan of salvation, as taught from time to time by the leaders of the Church, and elucidate matters difficult of understanding. There is no warping or twisting in fitting the temple teachings into the great scheme of salvation. The philosophical completeness of the endowment is one of the great arguments for the veracity of the temple ordinances. Moreover, this completeness of survey and expounding of the Gospel plan, makes temple worship one of the most effective methods of refreshing the memory concerning the whole structure of the Gospel'...The teaching plan is superb. It is inspired. The Lord Himself, the Master Teacher, taught His disciples constantly in parables--a verbal way to represent symbolically things that might otherwise be difficult to understand...The house of the Lord, bathed in light, standing out in the darkness, becomes symbolic of the power and the inspiration of the gospel of Jesus Christ standing as a beacon in a world that sinks ever further into spiritual darkness."
Temple marriage is the ultimate ordinance of the temple
(Before the couple comes to the alter[for a temple marriage] for the sealing ordinance, it is the privilege of the officiator to extend, and of the young couple to receive, some counsel. These are among the thoughts that a young couple might hear on this occasion.)
"'Baptism, a sacred ordinance, is symbolic of a cleansing, symbolic of death and resurrection, symbolic of coming forward in a newness of life...The sacrament of the Lord;s Supper is a renewal of the covenant of baptism, and we can, if we live for it, retain a remission of our sins...In that endowment you received an investment of eternal potential...You now become a family, free to act in the creation of life to have the opportunity through devotion and sacrifice to bring children into the world and to raise them and foster them safely through their mortal existence; to see them come one day, as you have come, to participate in these sacred temple ordinances...To accept one another in the marriage covenant is a great responsibility, one that carries with it blessings without measure.'"
The sealing power binds on earth and in heaven
"The Prophet Joseph Smith said he was frequently asked the question ''Can we not be saved without going through with all those ordinances, etc?' I would answer, No, not the fullness of salvation. Jesus said, 'There are many mansions in my Father's house, and I will go and prepare a palce for you.' [John 14:2]"
Temple work is a source of spiritual power
"Temples are the very center of the spiritual strength of the Church. We should expect that the adversary will try to interfere with us as a Church and with us individually as we seek to participate in this sacred and inspired work. Temple work brings so much resistance because it is the source of so much spiritual power to the Latter-day Saints and to the entire Church. [Logan Utah Temple cornerstone, President George Q. Cannon]...'Every foundation stone that is laid for a Temple, and every Temple completed according to the order the Lord has revealed for his holy priesthood, lessens the power of Satan on the earth, and increases the pwoer of God and Godliness, moves the heavens in mighty power in our behalf, invokes and calls down upon us the blessings of the Eternal Gods, and those who reside in their presence'...It is a good place to take our cares. In the temple we can receive spiritual perspective. There, during the time of the temple service, we are 'out of the world'...At the temple the dust of disctraction seems to settle out, the fog and the haze seem to lift, and we can 'see' things that we were not able to see before and find a way through our troubles that we had not previously known...The Lord will bless us as we attend to the sacred ordinance work of the temples. Blessings there will not be limited to our temple service. We will be blessed in all of our affairs.
Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection
"No work is more of a protection to this Church than temple work...No work is more spiritually refining. No work we do gives us more power. No work requires a higher standard of righteousness. Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people. So come to the temple--come and claim your blessings. It is a sacred work."

(LDS.ORG)

Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple

"Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple"

by Boyd K. Packer

Come to the Temple

• "When we organize families according to the order that the Lord has revealed, we organize them in the temples."
• "Temple marriage, that sealing ordinance, is a crowning blessing that you may claim in the holy temple."
• "'Come to the temple'"
• "The temple transforms the individual and makes abundantly worthwhile any efforts made to get there."
• "Keep your faith and your hope and determine that you will come--that you will be worthy and that you will come to the temple."

These Things Are Sacred

• "We do not discuss the temple ordinances outside the temples."
• "With great effort we urge every soul to qualify and prepare for the temple experience."
• "Someday every living soul and every soul who has ever lived shall have the opportunity to hear the gospel and to accept or reject what the temple offers (If this opportunity is rejected, the rejection must be on the part of the individual)."
• "The ordinances and ceremonies of the temple...are beautiful..are sacred...are kept confidential lest they be given to those who are unprepared."
• "Preparation for the ordinances includes preliminary steps: faith, repentance, baptism, confirmation, worthiness, a maturity and dignity worthy of one who comes invited as a guest into the house of the Lord."
• "We must be prepared before we go to the temple."
• "We must be worthy before we go to the temple."
• "The restrictions and conditions set are established by the Lord and not by man."

To be continued....

Visiting Teaching Message; March 2009

Why Must I Defend the Doctrine of the Family?

The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity"


Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general presidents: "As a disciple of Jesus Christ, every woman in this Church is given the responsibility for upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. Women have distinct assignments given to them from before the foundation of the world. And as a covenant-keeping Latter-day Saint woman, you know that raising your voice in defense of the doctrine of the family is critical to the strength of families the world over"

How Can I Defend the Family?

D&C 88:119; "Establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God"

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985): "Home is a haven against the storms and struggles of life. Spirituality is born and nurtured by daily prayer, scripture study, home and gospel discussions and related activities, home evenings, family councils, working and playing together, serving each other, and sharing the gospel with those around us. Sirituality is also nurtured in our actions of patience, kindness, and forgiveness toward each other and in our applying gospel principles in the family circle"

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: "I call upon members of the Church and on committed parents, grandparents, and extended family members everywhere to hold fast to [the family] proclamation, to make it a banner not unlike General Moroni's 'title of liberty,' and to commit ourselves to live by its precepts...
"In today's world, where Satan's aggression against the family is so prevalent, parents must do all they can to fortify and defend their families. But their efforts may not be enough. Our most basic institution of family desperately needs help and support from the extended family and the public institutions that surround us"

Elder Robert S. Wood of the Seventy: "For too many, responsibility seems to end with hand-wringing and exclamations of dismay. Yet talk without action accomplishes little. We need to be vigorously engaged in the world. If our schools are inadequate or destructive of moral values, we must work with fellow members of the community to bring about change. If our neighborhoods are unsafe of unhealthy, we must join with the civic-minded to devise solutions. If our cities and towns are polluted, not only with noxious gases but soul destroying addictions and smut, we must labor to find legitimate ways to eliminate such filth...We have the responsibility to be a blessing to others, to our nation, to the world"