How an Attitude of Gratitude Can Help Strengthen our Marriages

Remember the talks that my husband and I gave on Sunday?
Here is his notes for his talk..Enjoy!

• "Attitude" of Gratitude
• It's more than just saying "Thank you"
• Gratitude must be sincere
• We show sincerity through our actions, as well as words, and that sincerity must be present at all times and not just after someone has done something for you.

• Gratitude to the Lord
• Why are we told to "remember" so often in the scriptures?
• Remembering a lot of times represents gratitude

• What are we "remembering?"
• To keep the commandments
• To build our lives on Christ
• To remember what the Lord has done for us

• King Benjamin emphasized the importance of gratitude in conjunction with service
• Mosiah 2:18-21

• Why/What else do we remember?
• It is part of our Baptismal Covenant to always remember the Sacrifice of the Atonement made by Christ
• Christ describes this in 3 Nephi 18:11

• When we forget, that's when problems start
• Laman and Lemuel
• 1 Nephi 7:11
• 1 Nephi 17:45
• "Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God"

• Children of Israel
• Another example of a lack in "sincere" gratitude
• Read Headings to Exodus 14-17
• Moses goes into Sinai, they quickly forget and worship a golden calf
• One of the main reasons for the lower law of Moses was so that the people would remember God!
• Deuteronomy 6:7-9

• Good examples of those who remembered to be grateful
• Story of Leper who returned
• Luke 17:12-19
• All 10 were obedient
• Was truly grateful and blessed for it.

• There are many good examples of gratitude in the scriptures
• Christ, Himself, is another good example
• Disciples are baptized and receive the Holy Ghost; he commands them to pray, and then he prays
• 3 Nephi 19:20
• the Disciples continued to pray unceasingly; Jesus prays again
• 3 Nephi 19:28
• Christ was the perfect example of gratitude

• Gratitude to our spouses
• Story of a family from mission
• Lack of gratitude
• She was baptized and he was not (her 2 kids were, too)
• He began to avoid her because of her decision to be baptized
• Resented her for the change she made in her life
• He was not grateful for anything that she did
• They divorced

• Story of last Christmas with the decorations and Brittany
• Gratitude is a form of service
• It feels good to be appreciated
• Strength in a marriage comes from happiness, love, and peace. These blessings come as a result of the presence of the Spirit in the home. When we show sincere gratitude to the Lord and to our spouses, we invite the Spirit into our homes.

• With Thanksgiving coming up, I wanted to share some of the things I am grateful to my wife for:
• Sher left school, friends, and family to be with me
• She works hard to provide for us while I'm in school
• She helps keep our home a clean place where the Spirit can dwell
• She makes me feel good about myself when I am down
• Saturday's test

• She puts up with my imperfections
• She led a clean and worthy life so that we could be married in the temple
• She has a testimony of Christ and of the Gospel

• I am also grateful to my Heavenly Father:
• Eternal Families
• Holy Ghost
• The Gospel (It's saving ordinances and covenants)
• Prophets and Scriptures
• Personal Revelation
• The Sacrifice of His Son

It is my testimony that we will grow closer to the Lord and to our spouses as we exercise an attitude of sincere gratitude.

Sunday Talk

So today my husband and I spoke in sacrament meeting and it went well! I was extremely nervous, I am not one to feel comfortable about talking in front of a large group. Plus, the spotlight on me is never fun for me. Sooo yeah. But the talks went really well and I just wanted to share our talks with you! I will post mine on this one and will post Kyle's notes on another (he doesn't write his talk out, but just goes off the notes...which I envy him for ;)).

(I hope this doesn't become too boring for you to read..but if you do read the whole thing, kudos. and Thanks!)
 

My topic today is on an attitude of gratitude and how it affects our marriage.

 Gratitude is a key to help strengthen our marriages. As President Monson said, in our marriages, we need to “Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” Celestial marriage is essential to returning home to our Heavenly Father to receive the greatest blessings of Exaltation.

Sister Michelle Van Tassell told a story for an ensign article back in February of 2009. It reads, “For several years I struggled to understand why I had felt so confident that the Lord had confirmed my decision to marry when obviously it had been a mistake. I felt abandoned by the Lord. I prayed for help in understanding and improving the quality of my marriage, but I felt no improvement. I thought about divorce but could not find any comfort as I considered the option. After our first child was born, I felt that I would be forever trapped.

“One morning I was doing laundry when I caught a glance of myself in a mirror. The reflection surprised me. I had not showered or groomed for the day, and as I looked at myself, I thought I was lucky that anyone would want to wake up next to me every day. For the first time, I found myself feeling grateful to my husband for loving me. I examined myself with new eyes and thought about our marriage from his perspective. The revelation that followed had little to do with bad hair and no makeup but much to do with my behavior. I considered all the contention I had introduced into our home. For the first time, I felt real gratitude for my husband—he had continued to love me even though I had been critical and ungrateful.

“That simple moment changed my perspective as well as my relationship with my husband.”

Each day we become closer to our Heavenly Father as we strive to live righteously so that we may return home to him again. In order to strengthen our relationship with God, we must show effort on our part to do the things that will bring us closer to Him. One way that we may do this is through fervent prayer to Him, expressing our gratitude to Him and the things that He has done for us. Our marriage is very similar to this concept. When we go to our spouse to show gratitude and thanks, we are strengthening our relationship and showing them that we appreciate them for what they do.

Gratitude is like service, it’s contagious. When you show gratitude to someone for something that they did for you, they feel appreciated. And when someone feels appreciated, they give back and it becomes a cycle. For anyone, feeling appreciated feels good and it lightens your mood and causes you to be happy. When this cycle of gratitude and giving begins in a family, the Spirit dwells more in the home. When the Spirit is present, it allows good feelings to occur and you grow closer to the Lord. The Lord will then pour out blessings upon you which will strengthen your marriage and cause you to live a happier life.

President J. Reuben Clark once said, “Hold fast to the blessings which God has provided for you. Yours is not the task to gain them, they are here; yours is the part of cherishing them.” Blessings from the Lord may be coming continually, but you need to appreciate them and thank Him in return. The same goes for when your spouse does something for you; you need to show gratitude to them for what they have done for you. When you express to them that you appreciate the helpful hand, it builds a stronger bond within the relationship.

Work can be exhausting for me, and when I get done with work I just want to go home and crash on the bed. Kyle is always the one to blame for his loving and caring attributes. On so many occasions I have come home to a clean home where everything looks so nice and neat. I know he may not think he is doing a lot, but to me he is. Several times I have even come home to surprise gifts that he got for me and it amazes me how much Kyle just keeps giving. Recently, while Kyle was at school, I found some time at home to clean up the house a little bit. When Kyle got home he showed appreciation towards me for what I did and it really made me feel good. It made me want to do more for him each day because I knew it made Kyle happy, which made me happy. It is always those days that we do things for each other that I can feel closer to the Spirit and I feel closer to Kyle.

President Thomas S. Monson once said, “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.” Enjoy life now as we are living it. Be positive in the things that we do and we may be blessed. Show gratitude towards your spouse and you may feel the Spirit of the Lord touch your home and your life, which will then make you and your spouse happy together.

Remember to “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative” and your home will be filled with the Spirit and will cause you and your husband or wife to be happy.

I know these things to be true, for I have experienced these things myself. Life is hard, but we need to keep moving forward and have an “attitude of gratitude”, for it will cause our marriages to be strong and to be joyful.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

An Attitude of Gratitude

"Through divine intervention, those who were lepers were spared from a cruel, lingering death and given a new lease on life. The expressed gratitude by one merited the Master's blessing, the ingratitude shown by the nine, His disappointment. Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give Him the divine gift of gratitude."
              President Thomas S. Monson